Merv's

Stop 9 on the burger tour:  Merv's

Overall Score: 99.2(A+)

	Burger	Sides	Service/Exp	Value	SCORE
John	69.3	9.9	9.9	9.5	98.6
Russell	70	10	10	10	100
Mark	70	10	9	10	99

Mark

Wow.  I knew going into this tour that Merv's was probably going to be the one to beat.  After our visit today, all I can say is that if there is a better burger in town, I would love to have it.  This burger is just perfect.  Nice, soft, fresh sesame seed bun, great veggies (particularly the onion) and a fantastic large patty combine to make a great burger!  The fries were just as good, golden brown cut fries cooked to perfection and served nice and hot.  Sweet tea was right on the money.  These folks claim to have Tennessee's Greatest Hamburger, and quite frankly, I believe them.  And all this for under $10. The only reason I knocked the service down one point was because I ran out of tea once and had to wait a bit for a refill. Otherwise Walker and Kyle took very good care of us.  I honestly can't believe folks are spending twice that much for a terrible burger, service and atmosphere just down the road at Sofa King.  Trust me, this is the place to go.  It's going to be hard for someone to knock this from the top spot.     Overall Score: 99 (A+)

John

I woke up this morning knowing how it was going to go down. And sure enough, I feel like I did as a kid on Christmas Day after all the presents have been opened. It has been the best, but now what do I have to look forward to? Valentine’s Day? That’s just depressing. I wanted to save Merv’s for last, but Mark (aka “The Parliamentarian”) insisted that the rules be followed to the letter.

I know Russell is letting his perfect scores speak for themselves, but I’m pretty sure Mark has laid out the case for why Merv’s is the best so I won’t get too far into the weeds. As Mark said, if there is a better burger, I want to eat it. Chef Kyle, who perfectly cooked the burgers as owner Stacy taught him to, said the beef came in this morning and the cow was eating hay yesterday. I believe him. Love the sesame seed bun. Hands down the best fries. Kyle and our server Walker were delightful and the décor fits our motto to a T. I gave it the same Value score as Armando’s even though it was a little more expensive because I think the quality of the ingredients was higher.

The sign above the bar says it all.

Lemon bonus: 2 (Although they had the packets as was the case with Southern and Ankar’s, I’m giving Merv’s an extra .5 because Walker apologized for the packets and said she was working on Stacy to start providing real lemons.)  Overall Score: 98.6(A+)

Russell

Enough Said!!!  Overall Score: 100 (A+)

Next stop on the tour:  Urban Stack

Ankar's Downtown

Stop 8 on the burger tour:  Ankar's Downtown

Overall Score: 83.3(C)

	Burger	Sides	Service/Exp	Value	SCORE
John	63	8	8	9	88
Russell	56	7	7	8	78
Mark	63	6	6	9	84

Mark

I've eaten at Ankar's before on several occasions, and honestly I've always thought they had a pretty good

burger.  Since it has been some time since my last visit, I really came into today's burger with an open mind.  The set up is similar to Southern Burger in that you help yourself to your drink and tote your own food back to your table.  They will take a hit for service because of that, and also because the place honestly doesn't have any "atmosphere".  In fact the interior looks a lot like a chain restaurant.  Value is pretty darn good as the cheeseburger comes in at only $3.95.  The fries were of the frozen type, but were cooked nicely.  They have Heinz ketchup in a bottle, which is always a plus.  Now for the burger.  I must say, I was a little surprised by how good it was. It was a good size, the bun was fresh and it had a good taste.  I differ from John and Russell in that I actually like the shredded lettuce.  It mixes with the mayo and makes everything a little messy, but I think it adds to the texture of the burger.  To be fair, the beef isn't as good as Armando's or Tremont, but it isn't bad for the price.  I certainly wouldn't mind coming back to Ankar's for another burger sometime soon.  Overall Score: 84 (B)

John

I've eaten at the Ankar's on HWY 58 many times and always found the food quite good, but had never gotten a burger.  And this was my first time to dine at the downtown eatery.  So I was interested to see how it would be.   I did a census when we came in and counted 26 men and 5 women.  As much as I love the fairer sex, I can't help but see this as a good sign when I'm looking for a good burger.  Although they have them on the menu, I didn't see any salads on the tables.  Even the ladies were enjoying sandwiches and onion rings.  An excellent start.

I wasn't disappointed.  The burger was very good and a hearty size.  I'll go with a 9 score.  Fries were the frozen variety, but cooked nearly perfectly.  Bottles of Heinz standing proudly at every table.  (As a loyal reader noted last week, it was bad enough to get the packets at Southern, but the Hunt's made it even worse—maybe I should go back and ding them for that.)  An 8.   No service again.  I know that factors into the restaurant's overhead and adds a tip cost, but I like the interaction with the wait staff and I don't like everyone's food coming at different times.    Also, the décor is rather vanilla-beats being in a basement, but no real character.  Going with an 8.   Total cost on par with Armando's and Paddy's, but have to score it a little lower since the burger was not as big as Armando's and there was no Shirley.  So a 9.  Overall Score: 88(B+)

Russell

I could have written this review before we went.  We eat at the Ankar's in Brainerd frequently on Sundays after church.  It is an above average burger.  I realize that since doing the burger tour, I have turned in to a burger snob.  My complaints about this burger are the watery mayo, shredded lettuce, and the cheese.  I prefer the cheese to be melted on my burgers.  Here they just put a piece of cold cheese on the burger.  The mayo was so watery that it made my bun soggy.  Other than that, it is a pretty good burger.  This isn't the best burger on the tour, but it is no where near being the worst.  The cheese burger was $3.95 but I deducted them on value for charging $2.25 for frozen fries.  I'm really picky about my fries.  Service was good at the counter, but it is a serve yourself establishment.  I can't wait for next week's stop!!!  It is one of my favorites!!!!  Overall Score: 78 (C)

Next stop on the tour:  Merv's

Southern Burger Co.

Stop 7 on the burger tour:  Southern Burger Co.

Overall Score: 82(B)

	Burger	Sides	Service/Exp	Value	SCORE
John	63	9.5	1	7.5	81
Russell	70	7	7	6	90
Mark	56	7	7	5	75

Russell

Today's stop on the tour (Southern Burger) was another place I had never been.  We visited the Warehouse Row location.  They also have a food truck and they just opened up a new location in Ooltewah.  They have several specialty burgers and they also have a "build your own burger."  I got an Angus burger with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and mayo. I particularly liked the yeast bun.  I think the bun really added a lot to the burger.  This is the second burger on the tour that I have given a perfect score.  The only bad thing about the burger is the size.  It is a small burger at a big burger price.  I have to deduct points from value for this reason.  The fries were good and they reminded me of the fries at Five Guys.

If you want a great burger but you are not very hungry, Southern Burger would be a good choice.  If you are hungry, I suggest going somewhere else.  Don't bring a big appetite here.  Overall Score: 90 (A)

Mark

Bag of Fries

The stop this week is a place many folks have told us about, Southern Burger Co.  Located in the basement of Warehouse Row, it certainly has the distinction of being the blandest atmosphere of any place on our list so far, but they really can't do much about it.   I thought the burger was pretty good, although the thing is mighty small.  The bun is actually some sort of sweet roll type bread and while it had a good taste, mine was a little hard.  Veggies were good, and the meat is really nice and tasty.  The fries were ok, but a bit too greasy for my taste.  The setup here is pretty much self serve. The sweet tea was good, they had lemon and they have the really small pellet ice I like.
We didn't have to wait very long on our food and the employees seemed friendly, but I miss the personal service we've had at the other places.  This is a pretty good burger, I will probably go back to try another one sometime.  Overall Score: 75(C)

John

This week we drew Southern Burger and my review is mixed.  Let's start with the positive.  I thought the burger was very good.  Meat was quite tasty and the veggies very good.  Not crazy about the yeast bun--seemed a bit chewy to me.  Didn't stack up to Armando's or Zarzour's because of size and the bun, but again I thought it was very good and on par with Tremont's.  So I give it a 9.   The fries were the best we've had so far.  I would have rated them above Armando's, but the ketchup was only available in the stupid little packets.  That is even worse than lemon packets and simply not acceptable.   Sides get a 9.5.

But we really go downhill from here.  The tab was something like $9.60.  That is not a good deal for no service and a niggling burger.  Value gets a 7.5.   Now for the really bad part of the meal.  I give the service/experience a 1.  There is no service and the atmosphere is just awful.  A basement is no place for a restaurant unless maybe it is some kind of man-cave type bar, which this certainly is not.  Even if it was your mission, you couldn't make a place more dreary.  I would actually rather be in Sofa King Disappointing listening to the annoying megaphone.   I would give it a goose egg, but the one thing I have learned is it can always be worse.   So either get your Southern Burger to go or from their truck and I think you will be pleased with your meal.

I'm torn over the lemon bonus.   According to the rules, the bonus is to be given if my tea is served with lemon.  As noted, there was no service.  On the other hand, they did provide very nice lemon wedges and I could get as many as I wanted.  So, to be fair and to make Mark's job more difficult, I'll give them 1.5 bonus points.

P.S.  On the way over, we ran into one of our legion of loyal readers.  I'll call him "Perry."  He said 212 Market  has a really good burger and suggested we add it to the tour.  We debated this at length and finally decided to decline.  Our motto, after all, is "Nothing fancy" and that definitely rules out 212.  Unlike Perry, we don't live on Signal Mountain and aren't used to such.     Overall Score: 81 (B)